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I Am Another YourselfThe ramblings of a fickle misanthrope 4月27日 Something in the wayI am back after a long school year. Exams have just finished and my brain is officially on vacation. I probably will not continue to write on this space regularly. I suppose I'm just adding something here because I refuse to be outdone by Julian. I can't really compete with him as far as writing is concerned and I'm so stressed out lately it is short-circuiting my brain. I imagine that due to my significant disadvantage that Julian has already won by default...but default is probably not the proper term, considering he probably would have won if I had been fully functional while I wrote this. However, I will rejoice in the small victory of having a superior ability to stretch the discussion a topic of little or no interest to anyone (including myself) for several sentences before the reader realizes that there is not plot to speak of. later taters -Amber 6月13日 the positive psychotropic effects of paint fumesLast night in my dream, I was abducted nay, selected to be the companion of this yellow demon guy for the rest of eternity. So, once we entered in this dude's realm I came to discover that it wasn't such a bad place. Sort of palatial. Not long after we arrived there was a knock on the "door" (I assume there was a door, cause there was a knock). Turns out, it was my boyfriend asking the demon guy if he'd kindly give me back seeing as I was his girlfriend. The demon was all like, "no dice!", and I think they were about to really get into it but I woke up just then. Isn't that always the way?
I don't even want to know what that says about my subconscious.
nevertheless, I am looking forward to the opening of the new restaurant next week. It's gonna be sweet. I'll try to keep this up to date with all the craziness that will certainly ensue.
take care all
bye bye then.
6月2日 so so sadI woke up this morning, I felt so sad I forced myself to immediately get out of bed. Because I could sense if I lingered one moment longer, I may lose the will to get up. 5月30日 if my head wasn't screwed on...well you know.I don't think a library should open at 10 am...do you? I think it should open at 9 at the latest. The library here is closed Monday, and opens at 10 on Tuesday. What is that anyway? Like, you already had all of Monday. C'mon!
Feeling a little dangerous, a little like a fight...uh oh watch out. I say, are my philosophies just ways to facilitate my functioning on a somewhat normal level in a society that makes me want to live in the basement surrounded by electronic devices and tin-foil...what was THAT?
So if I make a few mistakes here today, don't be too hard on me. I just realised this bloody thing has to be played out and I have a good 50-60 years to go. Greaaat. I sure hope my life picks a direction soon. Cause I'm gonna lose it. yeah yeah, I'm on it.
5月27日 never believe anything I sayare all situations inter-related, or are they isolated occurrences that really should not have an effect on subsequent or previous ones? You may think the answer is simple. I however, do not. Can you condition yourself to encounter each new moment with absolute objectivity...or is that impossible? If such a thing can be achieved...is it considered a personality disorder or something of that variety?
meh, dunno it was just something I was thinking about.
THE REASON IS
My experience has been that as soon as I move on to the next scene, all emotions, and other pertinent pieces of information become almost like distant and blurred memories. It takes real effort (sometimes) to recall with any amount of accuracy the events of five minutes-ago. Maybe I'm just jumping ahead in my mind too quickly and I'm never actually "in" the now because I'm already trying to figure out whats happening next (I really hate surprises). So yeah, good for me.
take care now, bye bye then. 5月24日 never meant to be vague, but can you handle this circumstance?came down
to get a better look
at this high velocity
splatter site
if I squint my eyes
I can twist these shapeless
blobs
into something
I might recognise
they move
slow
through
the quivering
heat
oppressed by their
indifference
and the excessive
cytology
maybe now
weighed down
they might
stop for a moment
and ponder
the purpose to such
encumbered and
laborious motion
maybe I might
find
some compassion
for
these inhabitants
of some great tug-of-war
in some mammoth celestial experiment
marred by
absolute narcissism
and unforgivable oversight
5月3日 survey courtesy of Mr.DarcyName(Better make that full name): Amber Moon Strong
Nicknames: Burger, amberner, ombra, (don't like any of them)
Weather right now: Rainy and friggin' cold
Book(s) you're reading: Diary by Chuck Phalahnuik, Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote, Blood Sucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.
Song you're listening to(if any): Fireworks, by The Tragically Hip
What colour socks are you wearing?: none
What else are you wearing?: Black ballet-style shirt, and jean capris
Any Jewellery: not right now
Planning any road trips: Thinkin' about visiting my Dad in Garson on Saturday(does that count?).
Quick think of a number, any number: 43
Do you have a crush on the person who created this survey?(That's Darcy Cornelisse): Fo sho
If you could live in any fictional world what would it be?: Wonderland, duh!
If you could be an animal what would you be?: lemur
Favorite thing about Saskatchewan: My Grandma is from there.
Favorite thing about the place you live now: peaceful
What's your favorite flag: Sicily(its weird)
If you had 100$ what would you buy with it: a gift for Darcy...hehe
What was your favorite grade in school?: Grade 7 hands down.
If the offer was on the table what planet would you visit.: k-pax
Now what song are you listening to?: fully completely...still the Hip
Do you have any regrets?: I don't regret those things that may have been painful at the time, but have taught me valuable lessons...so no.
Should I just end this thing now or what?: well this is the end, so this would be the logical place to end it.
well, that's all folks.
hope you're satisfied Darcy. I did it for you, and you alone! wild blueberriestook a nasty
turn
evening-one
the time
i discovered my
own morbid
curiosities
sitting right
across from
me
sitting
languid
on the sofa
chuckling with
a little effort
cause the tears
were still
choking-back
like that lackaday afternoon
turned-black 5月1日 hazy days retrogradeI've been having what I'd classify as a MAJOR writer's block. If I may be so presumptuous to call myself such a thing. In any case, I find it frustrating, then depressing, then I stop caring, then I get frustrated again. Fact is, I've been lazy, and rather preoccupied this spring. I'm not complaining...no not at all.
so now I'll just write some random stuff...
if I laugh
feel the tingle
every little
nerve on end
in every finger
reach into the mid-afternoon sky
and find those
barely visible lines
touch them for a second
before you realise
that I laugh
so that you remember
those secrets
that became
enigmatic
only after the successful
deception
of time
and there it is...
thank-you, and come again! 4月30日 early in the morningHello Sunday morning, today I will not let you get me down. Why do I get so depressed on Sundays? Well...I'm not sure. If I could imagine what a Sunday looked like, I'd come up with glowing images of a colour ignited sunrise. Hot pinks, yellows and reds flooding the morning sky. Yet, as the day progresses I can feel an odd sense of impending doom. Like I'm about to re-enter a tired cycle full of pre-learned lessons, and so I wonder why. What is my purpose for that drifting week long dance, devoid of real purpose, with the main goal of getting you through this one only to make it to the next. . . god that IS depressing. So anyway, I'm still happiest ever to be here! I suppose we must accept the consequences of choosing this odd vacation destination. |
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